Opening this weekend, there are three films that fall into the “Do Not Miss” category (The Road, Up In The Air and Avatar). On the opposite end of the spectrum we have Did You Hear about the Morgans? – an awful and awfully dull romantic comedy worthy of the “Definitely Miss” column.
bickering, separated and soon-to-be divorcing couple just so happens to
go on a date when it’s painfully obvious that the woman (Sarah Jessica
Parker) wants nothing to do with the man (Hugh Grant). After a
pointless and awkward dinner, for some reason the prominent couple
decides to walk the many blocks of New York City streets home instead
of take the limousines right in front of them. Along the way, they
witness the murder of a random man and see the face of the (supposedly)
professional killer who did it.
The NYC police department
decides to send the couple into the Witness Relocation Program for
their protection. Of course, for some never-given reason they have to
enter the program together for one week, and afterwards can be
separated to two different locations. As a lame quirk, these city
slickers are sent to small town Cody, Wyoming where their romantic
spark is reignited amidst the “hicks” around them.
The only thing more offensive than how stupid The Morgans is
is how stupid the filmmakers think the audience is. Not only is it
chock full of the typical romantic comedy clichés, but the
foreshadowing of future events is so painfully obvious that it’s
a fan of Hugh Grant – but not in this movie. You have to forgive him
for being the only one trying to make the best of a horrible script.
Every single sentence that leaves his mouth is a one-liner, most of
which fail to draw laughs. But Sarah Jessica Parker is unforgivable for
this performance. I’ve seen better performances in community theatre
productions than the one she gives here.
The best word to describe Did You Hear about the Morgans? is “painful.” Everything about it hurts. There is nothing salvageable or entertaining it. Do not waste your time or money.