Yet another unnecessary and utterly worthless big budget remake, a spectacular failure.
- Who's going to like it: fans of low quality made-for-TV movies and bad epic remakes.
When Warner Bros. decided to do a last-minute 3-D conversion of Clash Of The Titans a little over one month before its theatrical release, everyone thought it was due to the huge success of Avatar and its 3-D presentation. We were all duped. After seeing how horrible the remake is, the only reason they could have made the 3-D decision was to get a few extra bucks from the sell of each ticket. After word-of-mouth spreads about how bad the film is, nobody will be seeing it.
But as if the movie itself was bad enough, the worst thing about it is the actual 3-D transfer. The 3-D effects of a pop-up book are more accurate than those in Clash Of The Titans. Not a single frame of the film ever truly looks like the beautiful 3-D that Avatar or How To Train Your Dragon have accomplished. Calling this “3-D” is an insult to perfect 3-D they created. The poor 3-D transfer causes double vision of foreground characters throughout the entire film, as if there was an extra hiding behind each character, occasionally popping out like a silhouette. If you are still planning on seeing Clash Of The Titans despite bad reviews, DO NOT SEE IT IN 3-D.
The only thing “epic“ about the Clash Of The Titans remake is how terrible the film turned out. The story is downright awful, never holding true to the Greek mythology from which it is based. Seeing how the story is already written and fairly well-known, it is baffling as to why they would change it at all. None of the characters have any depth and none of their actions are ever motivated.
Sam Worthington (Avatar) plays the lead character Perseus, the half God, half human son of Zeus (Liam Neeson, Taken) that was left on Earth and raised by men, completely oblivious to his origins and powers. When Hades (Ralph Fiennes, Harry Potter), the God of the Underworld, kills his human family, Perseus joins the defiant humans in a war against the Gods with the hopes of getting vengeance for their unprovoked deaths. But when Hades learns Perseus’ true identity, he gives the rebellious humans an ultimatum – if they do not sacrifice princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos, Defiance) within ten days, Hades will release a hellish beast called The Kraken to destroy their grand city. Together with a band of rebels, Perseus must find a way to destroy The Kraken to get a Hades, saving the princess at the same time.
This story would be interesting had they written a plausible and interesting story with developed characters. Instead, it’s a jumbled B-movie with plot contradictory to its stock characters’ morals, over-done poorly edited action sequences and bad acting mostly accredited to a bad director (Louis Leterrier, The Incredible Hulk) directing an extremely anticlimactically scripted film. The design in a few scenes is the only thing earning this film half of a star.
Had the team that put together NBC’s made-for-TV movie Gulliver’s Travels made another bad television movie that mixed the Lord Of The Rings movies and 300, it would be Louis Leterrier’s Clash Of The Titans. This film is not suitable for anyone. If you bother seeing this movie anyways, I am just going to say it now, “I told you so.”
Photo credit: Warner Bros.
(0 1/2 out of 5)