Jennifer’s Body

No stars (out of four)
Rated R for sexual, bloody violence, language and brief drug use.
Who’s going to like it: teens who find this “cool” and don’t know any better and dirty guys who expect to see more of Megan Fox than the PG-13 Transformers allow.

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You won’t find me checking out Jennifer’s Body again – it’s like an R-rated Twilight that actually tried to be funny (as opposed to the laughs Twilight unintentionally earned)

The opening line to Jennifer’s Body is, “Hell is a teenage girl.” To script-writer Diablo Cody: I’d rather be stuck with a dozen teenage girls for two hours than have to watch Jennifer’s Body again, so what does that make your movie?

Winning the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for Juno has gone straight to Diablo Cody’s head. I didn’t jump on the Juno train because I thought the script was awful and awfully boring. Critics and fans have praised her since, but I’m banking on her being a one-hit-wonder. And nothing proves my idea more than the result of Jennifer’s Body.

Being a fan of Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead saga and having an Oscar for a teen dramedy doesn’t give you the credentials to make a horror comedy. It’s obvious that’s what Cody was going for with Jennifer’s Body, but she sorely misses the mark. She should have taken filmmaking classes from Raimi before attempting it.

Because of bad advertising, Transformers star Megan Fox mistakenly appears to be the lead in Jennifer’s Body. The true lead in Jennifer’s Body is little known actress Amanda Seyfried (Big Love, Mama Mia, Mean Girls). Seyfried plays Needy (Yes, that’s her name. And no, Cody could not have been more subtle.), a mildly nerdy high school girl lacking self-esteem. Needy’s best friend is Jennifer (Fox), a bitchy, nose-in-the-air cheerleader who uses sex and her body to get whatever she wants. Life is turned around for both of them after attending an indie concert where all hell literally breaks out. The two become separated when the Jennifer ditches Needy for the band. Lured in by the creepy lead singer (Adam Brody, The O.C.), Jennifer is the sacrificed virgin to the devil in return for the band’s success. Little did the band know that Jennifer wasn’t a virgin. The result – Jennifer is now possessed by a demon, creating a new cycle: Unless she feasts on human flesh once a month, Jennifer’s body deteriorates – making her a literal “man eater.”

Not a bad story, but Jennifer’s Body is so poorly scripted and executed that it comes across as a confused tale. One minute it’s a serious story, the next it’s a comedy. There’s a huge chunk that feels identical to the trainwreck movie Twilight. Then it’s a horror movie, followed by The O.C.. It’s too “cool” for it’s own good and only comes across as a jumbled “hipster” mess. And as if that’s not bad enough, for some reason Cody doesn’t know that more is less. The movie just goes on… and on… and on. Even being under two-hours, Jennifer’s Body feels like it’ll never end. Cody tried far too hard on her sophomore project – and it shows. I recommend Jennifer’s Body to no one.

Photo credit: 20th Century Fox

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